Uber Rules: Rule 1 Don't Be Stinky

 Don't Be Stinky.

There are many things you could do before you jump in an Uber.

You could frolic through a field of lilacs.

You could use mortar and pestle to grind cinnamon.

You could finish a long spa day washed, showered, and delicately perfumed.

OR

You could have had me waiting long enough to where I wonder if you're going to show
finally ambling over to the car reeking from every pore of weed.

It's a small space in my car.

I do A LOT of cleaning to make sure that its clean and smells nice.

I don't smoke.

So when you clamber in after stubbing out your last Marlboro Red on my tire,
you can't smell the depths of your stench but boy, I sure can.

In fact, in obliterating all but the last necessary few brain cells you have in a THC laced fog, you have also totally overpowered the scent of clean in my car.

Now you sit oblivious to the fact that I can smell nothing but the funk of someone who hasn't showered in weeks.

Rule 1:
Don't Be Stinky