The Vaccine Saga, Part I: Bill Gates and the Beginning

I shall tell you now a tale of adventure and perseverance against impossible odds. Of a brave and righteous boy battling and his malign and exasperating father.

Our tale begins as most such tales do, with my father claiming a truth so outrageous as one could scarcely believe it could be uttered with a straight face. Alone is our hero the boy to give combat in the name of truth and justice, with only wit and grit to gird him against the follies of his villainous father.  Standing solitary with the hosts of his foe arrayed before him the battle is joined with these words:

"Bill Gates, you know head of the Gates Foundation, which has untold amounts of money behind it, has even said he is supporting the use of vaccines around the world for depopulation."

 This is what my father told us all at dinner.  My dad and several others I hadn't met had arranged to meet for dinner at a lovely Lebanese restaurant which was bit pricey but, as I came to learn, had quite delectable food. The conversation was going nicely until someone started my dad on vaccines.

My dad is a pretty calm, steady guy.  6'6" with a deep voice, and meticulously combed hair which is graying at the temples he is not the sort given to chattiness.  My dad is one of those types who when you ask them a question will sit and carefully chew over his response, giving it up only with the greatest reluctance some days time later.  When we play chess he broods on the other side of the board silently playing every possible variation of moves before he moves a piece, a process which will take a mere 10-20 minutes if you rush him.

There is one strategy however which instantly draws my father out of his laconic habits.  That is to touch upon one of his pet conspiracy theories.

My dad despises anything which smacks of Big Brother and gleefully revels in accusations of government misconduct while darkly alleging that such claims are but scratching the surface.  One of his favorite such causes, and truth be told my dad treats these matters less like theories and more like causes on which he must educate all those within earshot, is vaccines.

So when he started in on vaccines I must confess I was only half listening. I had heard this routine before and admittedly I found the flat bread and hummus on the table far more interesting and gratifying.  But the line about Bill Gates caught my attention.

"Wait a minute," I interjected. "Are you trying to tell me that Bill Gates not only said, but said publicly, he wants to use vaccines to kill people?"

That is exactly what he is saying, he replies.  It was caught on tape, he saw the video. If I do the research I can watch the video too, it is astonishing.

I frown into the shallow plate of olive oil and spices as I dip a bit of pita into it, contemplating this claim.

"If you do the research.." and "If you look at the studies..." are two of my dad's favorite rejoinders when challenged.  A brilliant tactic when you think about it since I rarely have occasion to wonder if Bill Gates is promoting global vaccine use in a plot to depopulate the world.  I honestly can't imagine why this wasn't my suspicion from the first but it really hadn't occurred to me.

Knowing that pressing the matter was little likely to avail me I chewed over my bread silently.  I had no evidence to refute him with no matter how outrageous his claim was, so for the present I just had to sit back and let it blow over.

The waitress just then appeared with our meals which, from the look and smell of them, seemed every bit as delicious as the appetizers. I consoled myself with the knowledge that no matter how crazy my dad's beliefs were it wouldn't make my dinner any less sumptuous.

And so our hero, recognizing that he cannot win this day, retreats for the moment for a day where he is sure to win.